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Somewhat Daily Musings / Writing is the website I use when I’m at work to eat lunch.

My workplace is in the suburb-y part of the city and it’s residential–meaning the urbopolitan lifestyle I am accustomed to is completely unavailable to me between the hours of 9-5. So, secluded and car-less as I am, I find a way to make food happen by exercising my thumb and wallet.

Of course this sounds like a product promotion, and in honesty, it is. But that’s because the service is freaking dynamite! I’m not being paid to write this–I literally enjoy getting food through this service because it  makes me feel good and it lets me do what I have to do without getting in the way. Like a good service is expected to do, it speaks to me as a Millennial: I’m busy, I’m always online, I expect immediacy, I’m somewhat egotistical, and I think I’m funnier/hotter/awesomer than I actually am. Also, I expect to be rewarded for every little thing.

Eat24 does that. At checkout, the customer is rewarded with compliments and given the option to post a witty tweet that promotes the service they just used, but doesn’t sound like a giant company trying to be “hip” and “cool.” It just is. Eat24 is because it doesn’t try to be. And if it does try, you can’t tell, making it that much more awesome and more like the generation it caters to.

But like I was saying, the Eat24 service doesn’t cheat you, it boosts your ego, it rewards the laziness that has come to be synonymous with “America” and “youth,” and it’s funny. So for a moment, I am allowed to forget that war, famine, corruption, inequality, [noun]ism, and other things you can write “anti-” in front of exist. What an activist, right? But here are those tweet that tickle me:

This tweet was brought to you by @Eat24, the number 420, and bacon.

I order #delivery from the @Eat24 app because my cat isn’t allowed to cook anymore. Thanks, fire department.

I ordered delivery from @Eat24 because I didn’t become an international hand model just to ruin these beauties in the kitchen.

After spending yet another exhausting day being ridiculously good looking, no one should expect me to cook dinner too. Thanks @eat24

Nothing in the fridge but beer and ketchup. So it was either @eat24 or the worst smoothie ever.

@eat24 is sending food to my home so all you Paparazzi waiting for me outside the restaurant can just take the night off.

I’m ordering with the @Eat24 app because video games don’t play themselves.

The @Eat24 app is like having a food truck in my pants. That didn’t come out right.

The @Eat24 app is the official sponsor of my munchies.

So as I work, for the 5 minutes it takes to buy lunch, I get complimented and can see myself reflected in a service. It makes me feel better about my day, improves my outlook on life, and benefits me. When you pay for service with Eat24, you are basically paying for a Magical Mirror a la Snow White in the Information Age. Typically, I do not endorse rampant consumerism, but you really get more for your money. Just sayin’.

Aaaaaaaaaannnnd cue my indoctrination into infantalized adulthood that marks the late stages of aggressive consumerist capitalism.


The Author

Sage Nenyue is a hi-falootin' Cappuccino aficionado who's searching for the foundation of freedom, happiness, and personal luxury.

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